Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys Might Tour Together, Which Means It's Actually 1997!

Did we just jump into a time machine and emerge in the late '90s?

By Jenna Mullins Mar 25, 2014 6:45 PMTags
Backstreet Boys, Spice GirlsGetty Images, StarTraks

Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys (aka the best member, depending on who you ask), allegedly told The Sun that BSB is in "early talks" to do a world tour with Spice Girls (minus Victoria Beckham/Posh Spice, presumably).

So obviously our time machine works because it's almost definitely 1997 again. But to be sure that we did indeed travel back in time to the late '90s, we have some questions to ask everyone so we can confirm what point in time we're in:

1. Did you just come from the movies where you saw Titanic for the fourth time? Fifth time?

2. Are you wearing platform shoes? If so, how chunky are the heels? Kind of chunky or so chunky you would have to register them as a weapon in most states?

3. Are you currently listening to "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" by Puff Daddy? Not P. Diddy. Not Diddy. Puff Daddy.

4. Did you almost miss the big news story about the Heaven's Gate cult suicides because you were too busy fantasizing about getting a physical from ER's Dr. Ross? Hashtag magnificent mullet.

5. How much crushed velvet are you wearing?

6. Is there a beeping noise coming from your belt loop? And if so, is that beeping coming from your Tamagotchi hooked onto your belt loop?

7. Did you recently listen to a lecture from your parents about how South Park is "too inappropriate" for you?

8. Did they threaten to take away your PlayStation if they caught you watching South Park one more time?

9. Speaking of PlayStation, how hot is Lara Croft? Yep, 32-bit boobies right there, son.

10. Is there a poster of Leonardo DiCaprio from Teen Beat (complete with hot pink cartoon hearts) somewhere in your general vicinity?

11. What about Claudia Schiffer? Is she featured anywhere around you? Did your mom or dad or both catch you in the act of self-consummating your love for her?

12. Did the Green Bay Packers win the Super Bowl this year?

13. Who were those hotties who just won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay? Ben Damon and Matt Affleck? Was that their names?

14. Do you think you're a total Monica? Or Rachel? Or are you a Phoebe?

15. Did you just spend 500 bucks for something called a DVD player?

If you answered in the affirmative for any or all of these, then we are definitely in 1997. All that, plus the fact that the Backstreet Boys are considering touring with the Spice Girls means our time machine totally worked.

Next up: We're headed to 2002 to stop Justin Timberlake from breaking up with Britney Spears. The fate of our world depends on their eternal love!