While we'd hate to incur the wrath of one Abby Lee Miller, Chloé Lukasiak may be all the proof we need that second place is not the first loser.
Because these days, the recent Pepperdine University grad is sitting pretty from her middle row perch on the proverbial Dance Moms' pyramid. "I was never first," Chloé joked to E! News in an exclusive interview. "Always second."
Of course, now, as a 22-year-old who helms her own national dance competition, Elevé, with mom Christi Lukasiak and fellow mother-daughter duo Diane Pent and Brittany Pent, she can see that her permanent place behind Abby's star pupil Maddie Ziegler had little to do with perfecting her pirouette.
"As a kid, I was pretty naive," acknowledged the Pittsburgh native. "I was not actively aware that it was happening. I was always just trying to prove myself to my dance teacher. I was always like, 'Why don't you like me? I don't get it. I'm doing my best. Why do you not want me to win so badly?'"
But after saving years' worth of tears for her pillow, "It wasn't until I was an adult that I was like, Oh, that was out of my control," continued Chloé. "I could have done the absolute best job in the world and it still wouldn't have been enough. So there's nothing I can do about that. That's more so about other people than it is about me."
And yet the thought of having to relive that time spent in Maddie's perfectly turned out shadow gave her pause when she was approached about filming the May 1 Dance Moms reunion special (airing on Lifetime at 8 p.m. and available to stream the next day) with fellow Dance Moms alum JoJo Siwa, Kendall Vertes, Kalani Hilliker, Brooke Hyland and Paige Hyland.
"I was really hesitant at first," shared the L.A. resident. "I was like, I don't even know if I'm ready for this. And then, honestly, I really reflected and I thought it's a really good way to close that chapter of my life and give my appreciation, show my gratitude to it, reminisce. I mean, these are my closest friends. We're sisters. It's like an extended family. And I just wanted to have that moment all together."
But while she was planning for a day spent rehashing both tough times and memorable one-liners (among her faves: the time Christi told fellow dance mom Melissa Gisoni, "I've got more dirt on you than a broom so I'd shut my mouth if I were you"), she didn't anticipate how healing it all would feel.
"It was actually really therapeutic, it made me realize I should probably go to therapy," said Chloé. "But it was really incredible, because I got to look back as an adult. I'm a fully formed human, and I have my own identity now."
One with an outlook that is decidedly glass-half-full.
"I'm honestly just really grateful," insisted Chloé. "Like, I can't stop expressing my gratitude. Because every moment that I experienced on the show shaped who I am today. And I'm really proud of who I am today. And that wouldn't have happened without that particular competition that was kind of manufactured between us and the intense negativity and the positivity in all of it."
While the experience of filming "brought up a lot of emotions," she said, "I finally realized what it is about the experience that was so difficult for me. But you know, half of the battle is just kind of recognizing what you need to work through. And then working through is a little bit easier."
As for whether that healing process will become a duet with Maddie, who's expressed her own feelings about their toxic experience, "I think we're all on our own journeys," acknowledged Chloé. "And so whether we're all ready to come together and talk about what we went through or not, we're still kind of working through it. It's up to our own discretion."
But that isn't to say she's not rooting for her former partner to rise to the top of her own personal pyramid.
"We still keep in touch and I see her occasionally," she said of Maddie. "And, like I said, she's still one of my sisters as well."
Lately, Chloé's been feeling more than a bit nostalgic as she attends Elevé's weekend competitions.
"Elevé is just about creating a positive experience for people, really bringing it full circle," she explained of her motivation behind the project. "I always wondered what experiencing that in the dance world meant for me, and I just want to take the negativity I experienced—because outside of the show, the dance world is pretty toxic and heavy and negative—so I just wanted to create a beacon of positivity for other dancers."
Her aim is for each pint-sized prima ballerina to not feel that first is the only option. "I want them to come and I want them to feel inspired and reignite their passion for dance," she said, "and just feel like, Oh, even if I didn't win first place, I had the best weekend."
And watching the performances has left Chloé wondering if she might begin living on the dance floor once more.
Noting it's reawakened her love for the art, she admitted, "I sit there and I cry, like, once a day. I'm like, 'Wow, this is really cool.'"
Of course, she's not the only member of Abby's Junior Elite competition team to be doing something so award-worthy. See how the series standouts have been handling their lives as soloists.